BREAKING NEWS: Members of Brighton City Council heading to Italy to assist with ‘David’ situation

In response to an urgent request from the Italian government, the members of the Brighton City Council who voted to move the community’s famous “Decision Pending” sculpture (aka, “Ugly Naked Guy”) are scheduled to board a flight to Florence later this week.

Their mission? Assist the Italian government in its efforts to move the replica of Michelangelo’s statue of David from the entrance to the Palazzo Vecchio in Florence. The original “David” stood at the site from 1504 until it was was moved to the Galleria dell Accademia in Florence in 1873 to protect it from damage; the replica replaced the original “David” in 1910.

Though David symbolizes the defense of civil liberties, the Italian government has long maintained that having the replica statue in a public place is disrespectful of wrong-headed thinkers everywhere.

Florence Mayor Luigi Del Borsolino spearheaded the effort to bring Brighton Mayor Ricci Bandkau, mayor pro tem Jim Bohn, and council members Chad Cooper and Larry Schillinger to Florence to consult with the Italian government.

Through an interpreter, Del Borsolino said the similarities between the two statues were striking.

“We got our replica statue at the entrance to the Palazzo Vecchio,” Del Borsolino said. “They got theirs at the entrance to their Mill Pond!”

When word spread quickly via the Internet about the moving of the Ugly Naked Guy, Del Borsolino was elated.

“We’ve been trying to find a way to move David for years now. Can you imagine the horror people in Florence live through each day, being disrespected by the statue of that naked man,” he said. “We are hoping these wise rulers from Brighton can help us.”

When asked about the main difference between the two works of art — David is anatomically correct and the Ugly Naked Guy is at best ambiguous — Del Borsolino laughed.

“That’s not the only difference. People in Florence don’t have fun with David like they do in Brighton with your Ugly Naked Guy,” he said, shaking his head. “You didn’t find a World Cup jersey on David this summer. I understand the people in Brighton like to put costumes on the Ugly Naked Guy.”

“Decison Pending” by artist Jay Holland was part of the first Brighton Biennial, which ran from 2005-08. It has been located at the entrance to the Brighton Mill Pond since the Biennial began.

After the contingent from Brighton meets with officials in Florence, they’re off to another mission at the Vatican.

It seems there are some anatomically correct naked figures depicted throughout the Sistine Chapel (like God creating Adam at right) that need to be dealt with.

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