Though miles away from the devastation and desperation in Japan, I can’t help but find myself pushing back tears and then disconnecting completely from news reports in a not-always-successful attempt to get on with my life.
A news junkie, I’ve never been so overwrought and overwhelmed by a story. I feel helpless and insignificant. I think about the terrible seconds of the earthquake and then the swift and consuming power of the ocean and how there’s no one to blame, no one to point my finger at, no sense to any of it. An untold number of people lost their lives in an event that didn’t involve war or operator error or terrorism — just nature, at its terrifying, powerful worst.
I think about it as I sit on my little deck, soaking in the sun that seems like it’s been gone for years. As the warmth washes across my face I feel guilty for the “ahhh” moment, even though I know it is but fleeting.
I can’t help but think about it as I first struggle to get to sleep and then, just a few hours later, to remain so.
And as if Japan isn’t enough to prey on my serenity, there are air strikes over Libya and nuclear plants leaking radiation and those in power turning on working folks, all this as I approach the second anniversary of my long-time job as a newspaper editor being “eliminated.”
The uncertainty of the future and the terrifying circumstances around the world make me long to stay in my pajamas and watch cartoons all day.
But I don’t.
I keep plugging along, scouring for work, cooking dinner, writing. I wear clothes far more comfortable than they are stylish. I look forward to a glass of red wine tonight.
I try to feel normal, whatever that is right now, and when bits of serendipity find their way to me, I embrace them.
Tonight, it’s the “Moonstruck” moon. I hope all of us find the time to witness the beautiful side of nature.
This afternoon, it was a video of a flash mob of kids celebrating St. Patrick’s Day passed along to me from a friend.
“I love these flash mobs,” he said. “They make the world a better place.”
I watched, and I have to admit that the kids made me smile.
Maybe they’ll do the same for you: