What business do I have to write about the legacy of Carol Sue Reader? The answer is none. Absolutely none. As a resident of Livingston County for a mere four years, how could I possibly summarize the life of a deeply devoted public servant and honored member of this community?
I can’t. But rather than talk about what I can’t do, I will focus on what I can do, and that’s to share what her impact was on me.
The news of her passing came as a shock, so much so that my reaction surprised me. I opened the message to audibly gasp, which startled my child, and I could not immediately respond. My eyes filled and my heart sank. As I reflect on it now, I think it was both a feeling of grief and regret.
Allow me to chronicle our relationship — don’t worry, I will be quick. It was only two interactions.
The first time we had any meaningful contact was Oct. 24, 2022, while she was a county commissioner. I had made an appeal to the board of commissioners during call to the public to have my volunteer application to serve on the board of the Livingston County Human Services Collaborative Body added back to the agenda. I had to make this appeal because the chairman had maliciously stymied my appointment using false and defamatory accusations to ensure my application never advanced from the personnel committee.
Honestly, who knew volunteering for the community would be met with such dramatics? (I’ll save that story for another time.)
I stepped up to the microphone to explain my near 15-year history of advocating for families with children who have special healthcare needs, and my active role in parent leadership, mentoring, education, and the promotion of mental wellness, both in this community and across the state.
I know what you’re thinking, shoe-in, right?
Mmmmm, not so much.
While a minority of commissioners chose to pontificate and beat the drum of McCarthyism, the majority of the board stood steadfast in honoring the mission of the HSCB and its legacy of collaboration.
Of particular impact that night was not that Carol Sue Reader gave full-throated support to my candidacy, but that she honored what I consider to be one of our most precious freedoms: The freedom of expression.
When seeking solutions to our community’s most-difficult problems, do we not want our team bench to be as deep and wide as possible? Legal scholar Thomas Emerson wrote that ”free expression is an integral part of the development of ideas, of mental exploration, and the affirmation of self.” He goes further to explain that the “suppression of belief, opinion or expression is an affront to human dignity.”
This is what Carol Sue Reader had to say that night about differing points of view and the qualifications to serve: “As usual, I come to this from a different point of view having been a judge and having supported the rule of law. Different points of view are fundamental to our constitution, and I may not agree with a lot of people, and they may not agree with me, but I will fight for anyone to be able to express that point of view, no matter what it is. In a collaborative body such as this, we should be welcoming differences of opinion so that, in the end, we can serve this community and the agencies that are represented there by having different points of view and to reach what is right for us. Mrs. Farrell is committed to the HSCB’s mission, which basically says ‘ensuring a system of support for members of our community.’ I do not see how she goes against that, and for those reasons I believe she qualifies to be on this board, and it doesn’t really matter what her points of view are, other than the fact she needs to be able to express them.”
My application was added back to the agenda and approved 5-3 on both motions.
That was my first interaction with Carol Sue Reader.
At a moment when it would have been easier to just vote and say nothing at all, she stood firm in her resolve to ensure my rights, while taking special care to maintain my dignity. That wasn’t a special gift that she saved for me, it was what she did for everyone that came before her. It is far too easy for people in positions of authority or influence to quickly rob others of their dignity. Carol Sue Reader tended to people in the same committed and stringent way that she applied the law. I was told by a former clerk of hers that she would have folks thanking her upon being sentenced to jail because she acknowledged their dignity and didn’t make the people before her feel unredeemable.
Think about that.
Most of us don’t even apply that level of empathy with the people closest to us, let alone to someone who has committed a violation of law or standard. Dignity is defined as the practice of affirming, valuing, and honoring the intrinsic worth of every human being.
Donna Hicks is an author and conflict resolution specialist who is a third-party facilitator in some of the world’s most intractable conflicts: Isreal/Palestine, Northern Ireland, Sri Lanka, and others. In her book, “Leading with Dignity,” she writes: “The emotional volatility associated with having our dignity honored or violated cannot be overstated. When people feel that their value and worth are recognized, they experience a sense of well-being that enables them to grow and flourish. If, in contrast, their dignity is routinely injured, it is experienced as a source of pain and suffering.”
That’s a pretty good first interaction, right?
My second interaction with Carol Sue Reader was no less impactful. We were at a fundraiser together for Genesis House, a local community center that offers support networks for folks with mental illness, a cause we mutually care about. It was then I got to know her on a more personal level. She spoke softly, so I had to get close, but her sense of humor had me HOWLING! She was clever and articulate and compassionate and energetic. We swapped a few stories; she told me about her daughter; I introduced her to my husband. I thanked her for her support and I gave her a hug. Before we parted she gave me a piece of advice that still brings a smile to my face every time I think about how she said it, but I am going to keep it to myself for awhile, just to cherish that one moment I shared with her not knowing it would be our last.
I will however, leave you with this:
In Brene Brown’s book “Dare to Lead,” she describes what makes a great leader: “Great leaders make tough ‘people decisions’ and are tender in implementing them.”
In a world that so quickly strips others of their dignity, take a moment to think about how you would like to be treated and respond like Carol Sue Reader.
