“In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present.”
~ Sir Francis Bacon
Spurred by another power outage, I’m compelled to write at last. I’m compelled to find my voice – again. It’s been awhile.
On a beautiful autumn day, just a week before the 2024 presidential election – when I have so much to do – the power goes out for no apparent reason. That’s nothing new.
I’ve written about power outages for all the decades we’ve lived here. I’ve written about them through the decades I’ve been writing. They’ve disrupted my life so many times.
You know the feeling when the power goes out. You’re in “the upside down.” Your mind stops. You’re so off schedule, you can’t seem to function normally. Everything spirals and stalls. Sometimes that’s a good thing. Maybe you needed to stop – for some reflection.
Still, it’s not the same as deliberately going on vacation for some down-time. It’s different, because you didn’t plan it. You must deal with it; and you work around it. Mostly, I just stop. Often, a power outage makes me think about life in the moment.
That day I realized how the last decade felt like some kind of power outage – or at least a brownout. I sense that many Americans feel caught up in the spiral, the stress, of existing in a never-ending brownout.
Living on the precipice of historical change, as we are now, I wonder: In the weeks and months ahead, will it be a total power outage? A brownout? Or will the lights come back on in the morning?
As I stopped what I was doing, I thought back to the year I began writing Yesterday’s Coffee (my informal blog title). I’d come out of a wonderful retreat in Virginia with folks looking to revive their creative spirit. I’d been through a midlife crisis of confidence, and I wanted to get my joy back.
Granted, we all go through these glitches – these ups and downs – on our life’s journey. I did get my joy back. But about a decade ago, I sensed a subtle anxiety filtering in. Of course, the Covid years really tested our joy levels.
***
On the day of the power outage, I realized I’ve been adrift on a sea of exhaustion – a brownout of spirit. Where had the joy gone, and why was the joy eluding me again?
“How exhausting said the frosting!”
I laugh, because that phrase has played over and over in my head in recent months. You might recognize it from a popular children’s book by author Polly Cameron: “‘I can’t’ said the ant.”
Our kids loved that little book. Our favorite line – “How exhausting said the frosting!” – came up during numerous stressful and exhausting circumstances. We’d laugh, and somehow that shared sentiment helped.
I realized on the day of the power outage that we’re coming full circle. An entire decade of behind-the-scenes stress. An unease, lurking in the background. For me, many wasted hours worrying about the future of our country.
Ten years ago, my brother-in-law (during a lively political debate about presidential candidates) suggested that why should I worry if it doesn’t affect me? But of course, it did, and it does; I’m a writer, after all. Plus, I’m a news junkie. Plus, I want the world to get along.
The tension between exhaustion and joy is so apparent now. We’re in the final days of the election transition. How will we fare as we navigate this territory?
How ironic that a recurring writing theme throughout my life revolves around the subject of joy and our creative spirit. I see constant references to joy in the news, now. Finding joy. The poet Maya Angelou said it best:
“We need Joy as we need air. We need Love as we need water. We need each other as we need the earth we share.”
A couple of years ago, during the Covid crisis, I purchased one of those insulated drinking tumblers decorated with the iconic Baby Yoda figure peeking out of the word JOY, printed in giant letters. It was Christmas time; and I gifted it to family members as well. I wanted something to remind me – and them — to be joy-full. Following the giant JOY are the words: to the galaxy. Joy to the Galaxy. That’s what I mean.
A joyful person is a fun, interesting, cheerful person, with a caring curiosity about life and relationships. Some of us are naturally joyful, no matter the circumstances. Some of us must work at it. But we all recognize the importance of joy in our lives, if only for our health and well-being.
***
I recently listened to a podcast with the author Timothy Snyder, Yale professor and historian, who said something I took to heart regarding our current political situation. His new book is On Freedom. On the podcast, he remarked about how we might become, or act, under authoritarian influence.
These words – “a dreary, frightened, uninteresting person forever” — struck home. I don’t want to be that. As a person who came of age in the 1960s – as I’ve written about before – I hadn’t thought about living under that kind of influence. I thought we’d overcome so many obstacles, evolving to become a better America.
Snyder said that we forget that we turned the corner then. He also offered hope that we can do it again. “If we get it right, we can be more joyous, more productive.” We can imagine a better America. He challenges us to all do a little thing toward that vision.
The week of the power outage was in the stretch of unusually mild October days. Morning glories were amazingly still blooming, seeming out of place against the autumn sky. Could the flower be a symbol? Of light? For hope? I wanted to imagine that. I wanted to imagine Joy to the Galaxy.
During this historical election 2024 and transition I wonder: Will the lights be back on in the morning? This autumn, this Thanksgiving, will there be a morning glory? Will there be gratitude and joy? We can imagine.
May we shine our light brightly. May we make it so.
