While researching for this story about my 30 years of covering the news in Livingston County, I came across this police blotter item I wrote nearly three decades ago. I still can’t quite figure out how this particular driver managed to accomplish all that he did with only two hands.
From the Livingston County Press archives:
Man claims indecent exposure was accident
A woman driving along I-96 reported a case of indecent exposure to the Michigan State Police Post in Brighton, but the man who allegedly exposed himself said the incident was purely accidental.
According to the report, the woman was driving along I-96 between D-19 and M-59 in Howell Township on March 10 (1993) when she noticed a van to the right keeping pace with her. She did not pay much attention until she heard a horn honking.
When she looked over, she saw a naked man with his hips arched and his body in the air.
According to the report, the woman braked and got behind the van to get is license place number.
The van was traced to a company and the employee driving it was called into the state police post to make a statement.
The driver told police that the exposure was accidental. He was that he works outdoors five days a week and his hands often become dry.
At the time of the incident, the man was driving along I-96 and said that as he applied lotion to this hands, he decided to also apply some to his crotch. While doing so, he said he wanted his wallet out of his back pants pocket, and arched his back to reach it.
As the man raised up to reach his wallet, he claimed that he inadvertently hit the horn with his hand, and became aware of the woman driving next to him. According to the report, the man could tell from he woman’s face that she had seen him naked.
In the report, the man said this knowledge upset him so much that he had to pull off the expressway at the M-59 exit to pull himself together and relax.
The woman declined to press charges and the case is closed.