Alicia Urbain is a Brighton resident and mom to three children, the oldest of whom, Genna, is a senior at Brighton High School.
I have heard a lot about the year of lasts, their senior year. There are blogs and articles with tips and advice on getting through it all over the place. But all those things are based on experience. No one has experience in a year of lasts combined with a lot of firsts after nearly a full high school career of nothings.
Don’t get me wrong, a lot of schools did some cool things for kids over the last few years and most tried their best to do what they could for the kids. However, we know that most of the big (and even the small) memory-making events were canceled or significantly altered and the kids missed out on A LOT.
What I found was that with many of the restrictions eased this year, our school was allowing some of the events and milestones to happen, and the kids were READY. In fact, they were more than ready, they were on overdrive trying to pack two years (or more) into one.
I was prepared for the year of lasts. I was not prepared for the year of firsts and lasts and everything piled into one nine-month time frame.
I watched the enthusiasm of it all in the beginning with a grateful heart. I was amazed at the ambition of the students to pursue so much in a short time. Then I was frustrated that they were off and running a million miles an hour to “catch up” on what they lost, and I couldn’t keep up so I was missing out on seeing their firsts and lasts.
Then I began to worry that burnout would set in because it didn’t seem possible for these kids to continue at the pace they were going between classes, extracurriculars, school spirit activities, homecoming events, college applications, Friday night lights, charitable events, community activities, etc.
All the things that were missed seemed to get packed in because these kids wanted to live it all. Much to my surprise, many of these kids pushed through the burnout, and are now on the back end of the work and the forefront of memories.
I found myself struggling to understand the things they were doing and its significance since it was my first time living it, too. Some of those things were the first and the last all at the same time since the last normal year for them was when they were freshman where they weren’t able to partake in most of it.
It was hard to experience the emotion of the lasts for some of that time. Powder Puff football was one of those things. My daughter didn’t get to do it last year, and this year was her only opportunity. Over 100 seniors signed up to participate. It was chaotic, it was confusing, and it was a first and a last.
I was so excited to watch her and her friends, then I was angry that it was also the only time, and finally emotional it was a last. Those were hard and conflicting emotions to handle. The anger and frustration was real when I realized the extent of the high school experience they already missed, and truth be told, I missed watching the memories being made as a parent.
I wanted more memories, more time, another season to make up for the one missed, another dance, another Powder Puff game.
As the new year started and graduation was looming ever more present, what I decided to do was try to live in the moment for everything. The anger and frustration would only consume space that should be reserved for memories. I started to ask a lot more questions, even if they were annoying, so that I knew what was going on without having to spend time figuring it out, and then soak it up when it happened.
Administrators, coaches and teachers, please remember that the last time some of these end-of-the-year activities happened, our seniors were freshmen, and I can promise you we weren’t looking for social cues from the older parents on how get through them at that time. So be patient, explain what is happening, why, and how so we can prepare to experience the last that is also the first that we have very little reference point on what is about to happen.
Also, let us go a little overboard, add a little extra, and soak it up a little longer because our kids missed out on a lot, and we as parents equally did as well.
