MI POLL: Trump more embarrassing than that one uncle you avoid at family gatherings; Unity Rally great place to get buzzed and hug it out with the sheriff

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Michigan sighs and exchanges awkward glances with cousins Pennsylvania and Wisconsin over nation’s dinner table

The results of a CNN/Marist poll are in following recent violent protests in Charlottesville, VA, by the KKK, neo-Nazis and America’s statue enthusiasts, and it turns out that even Michigan’s blue collar, pork eatin’, beer drinkin’, truck nutz danglin’, red-blooded ‘Mericans aren’t buying Trump’s “both sides” attempt to extract maximum political advantage out of a tragic situation that resulted in a woman being killed by a white nationalist for her beliefs.

Who could predict Trump’s lame ass attempt to capture the admiration of both David Duke and pretty much everyone else who doesn’t think with a lizard brain would be such a failure? Sad!

“The polls released Sunday show that nearly two-thirds of registered voters in Pennsylvania (63%), Wisconsin and Michigan (both 64%) said they are embarrassed by Trump’s conduct as President, while only about a quarter of registered voters in those states said they are “proud” of it,” CNN reported.

“Embarrassment” — who even knew that was still a thing in society? Three cheers for shame!

But Trump isn’t the only one whose shit we’re gettin’ real tired of:

“The polls also found that 48% of voters in Michigan would prefer to see Democrats win majorities in Congress in next year’s election, while 35% would rather Republicans stay in control.”

Well, that is all very cute how voters “prefer” things, and then cast their vote based on these preferences. But did you know that here in Michigan what those voters want and what they actually get are two entirely different things?  In Michigan politics, candidates select you!

That is all very convenient for our local congressman Mike Bishop, (R-8th District), who not only supported Trump’s plan to kick sick people off Medicaid by repealing Obamacare, but was so afraid to tell us why in person that his cardboard likeness is currently clocking more time in front of his constiuents than he is. We will probably be getting at least four more years of that come 2018, thanks to us being one of the most gerrymandered states in the union — why bother to win an election on merit when you can just steal it? Maybe because even Republicans don’t believe in their own ideas anymore? #PureMichigan

We need More Beer in Politics: Thoughts from the Unity Rally

‘Unity’ — a loaded concept that President Abe Lincoln took us to war against our countrymen over to preserve, but some people are still unsure of, if not downright suspicious.

Maybe that’s because unity ends in ‘y’ and starts with a ‘U’? As in Y are U being such a homophobic, racist, xenophobic, all around obnoxious douche canoe to your neighbor so as to necessitate such meetings as this in the first place? Are you not tired of all this crap yet? Because the rest of us sure are, and we are all just standing here waiting for you to join the new millennia with us.

For what it’s worth, I give rally organizer Colleen Turk — a local mom and full-time career person — mad credit. She’s really got this ‘leaning-in’ thing down. If we had a congress full of Colleen Turks, we would all have universal health coverage, paid family leave, affordable college, a healthy planet, and flying cars.  She saw news of the Trump Rally at Block Brewery in Howell following the Charlottesville protests, and rather than encourage a boycott of Block as a few people were suggesting, Turk, a Democrat, had her own idea to bring everyone together last Wednesday to both support local business and start some good ‘ol fashioned over-the-fence dialogue. Whenever there is beer and politics mixed together, you never ever have to ask me twice, so I made an appearance.

It just so happens that Turk and I went to Howell High together; it also just so happens that we both had Mayor Pro tem Steve Manor for American History. Turk invited Manor to give the opening address at the rally where he sang her praises for being in his honors class and becoming such an extraordinary citizen.

If you are looking for validation as you hate-read this snarky, trashy blog that you swore you would never read again, allow me to satiate your itch for smug satisfaction when I tell you that Steve Manor saw me, smiled and reached out and his hand and said “Hello, what’s your name?” Clearly, I also made quite the impression on him 20-something years ago with my B grade in regular history.

Sheriff Murphy: Seriously, just stop with this already.

A roomful of about a hundred people sat together and listened as neighbors of ours from the entire spectrum came up and basically all more or less said the same thing, but in their own voice, including Livingston County Sheriff Mike Murphy, who reminded us in his congenial style that we all need to heckin’ calm down and stop being such anger bears at each other.

“It would be very boring if we all said the same thing and acted in the same way,” Murphy said.

Now don’t get the wrong idea, reader. There’s still important business to be worked out, and that’s fine. But Turk’s goal, I think, was just to remind us that there’s a right way and a wrong way to go about sharing ideas and convincing people. She just wants to help people go about it the right way, maybe with more debates and public forums and less crappy misinformed Facebook posts and lame internet memes? And for that reason I am going to stop being the smirky, snarky person on the far wall being all sarcastic at you for one second and say: More of this please!

If you would like to see more of this also, go to Citizens for Unity’s GoFundMe Page and make a donation to help plan a future event.

About Sally Subterfuge 15 Articles
Sally Subterfuge is a low-down, surly satirist and Sandernista and one-time news reporter who leans left in the reddest county in Michigan. She is still waiting on her George Soros money. Yo, send me a Tweet: https://twitter.com/SubterfugeSally


  1. I believe anyone that isn’t embarrassed by Trumps actions must condone how he acts. That says a lot about the people that are still supporting him.

  2. Are the people who took the poll that said people are embarrassed- the same people who took the poll that he would lose the election ????

      • Random sampling??!! What from you only??
        Welcome to fake news now being spread in Livingston County!!

        • I wasn’t involved in the poll; it was done in three states with a random sample by Marist, a professional polling agency, in collaboration with CNN.

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