Lana and her Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week

May 1, 2022
2 mins read

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State Sen. Lana Theis

State Sen. Lana Theis, R- Brighton, has taught voters a very important lesson: She will never, ever back down, even if she’s egregiously wrong, like when she accused a fellow legislator of being a child sexual abuser.

In a follow-up email to the one that raised eyebrows across the country — the one that insinuated Democratic state Sen. Mallory McMorrow of Royal Oak wants to “groom” and “sexualize kindergartners” — Theis complains about how she’s received some support, but also how mean and unfair the bad people have been to her.

“I’m also getting vile, hateful emails, which I’m sorry to say, is predictable because the very group espousing #hatewontwin uses lies and political spin to create a visceral, hateful response from their base,” Theis writes. “Frankly, beyond the death threats, there are also many who are simply angry at the situation they’ve been presented with, and don’t have the opportunity to see the truth. I hope to clarify.”

Theis’ clarification: The whole thing is the fault of the Democrats who walked out on her prayer on the state Senate floor, which asked for protection of children (from the awful, trans-gender grooming and sexualizing legislative kidnapping corps, apparently). Not only did those Democrats walk out on her prayer, they then proclaimed “their righteousness” on social media. Theis throws in terms like “woke,” “virtue-signaling,” “mainstream media,” “indoctrination,” and “agenda” as she tries to position herself as both the victim and as the warrior fighting for constituents rather than as the person who started the whole thing when she accused a fellow legislator of being one of the vilest forms of human beings on the planet.

Here’s what she said in her first email, the one in which Theis set off a media frenzy and elevated state Sen. Mallory McMorrow, D-Royal Oak, to political superstar status for her response:

“These are the people we are up against. Progressive social media trolls like Senator Mallory McMorrow (D-Snowflake) who are outraged they can’t teach can’t groom and sexualize kindergarteners or that 8-year-olds are responsible for slavery.”

Maybe we should cut Theis a little slack; perhaps the butchered grammar of that first email obscured what Theis meant to say. If that’s so, Theis’ follow-up email should have apologized to her high school English teacher, as well as McMorrow for insinuating that she wants to “groom and sexualize kindergarteners.”

Instead, Theis won’t acknowledge the awfulness of what she wrote. She won’t admit how vile it was that she accused a fellow legislator BY NAME of wanting to “groom and sexualize kindergartners.” She doesn’t acknowledge how SHE created the furious backlash with her words. Instead, Theis positions herself as the victim, the warrior wounded in the fight to protect children against the “others.”

The rest of her follow up email descends into a pit of weird QAnon stuff. You’ll have to read it for yourself below — I warn you, it’s not pretty. And it sure isn’t truthful.

Had Theis acknowleged the awfulness of what she said, had she tried to explain her terrible words, had she extended to McMorrow an apology — even a half-hearted one — I’d be able to write something other than that she and her campaign continue to disappoint.

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