As we all know, Brighton and Howell are the two biggest communities in Livingston County, and scholars continue to debate which of these two cities is truly superior.
We also all know that the only true way to measure a community’s greatness is by counting the number of Taco Bells it has.
So when you look back in history, Brighton officially became the superior city in 1984, when Livingston County’s first Taco Bell opened there. It was the greatest thing to happen in Livingston County history since … well, since forever.
And Brighton held the title of “Livingston County’s Greatest City” until 1990, when Howell finally got a Taco Bell. And yes, I know the Taco Bell was technically located in Genoa Township, but nobody refers to it as the “Genoa Township Taco Bell.” It’s close enough to Howell to be called the Howell Taco Bell.
So starting in 1990, the Taco Bell count was Brighton 1, Howell 1, and neither town could claim superiority.
And then the three other main communities in Livingston County joined the fray, when Fowlerville got a Taco Bell in the mid-1990s, and then Hartland got a Taco Bell a few years later, and then finally in 2011, Pinckney got a Taco Bell.
Five Taco Bells. Five-way tie.
Well, the tie was broken in 2015, when Howell got its SECOND Taco Bell, located on Michigan Avenue, right across the street from its lesser cousin, Wendy’s.
It was thus official: Howell laid claim to the title of “Livingston County’s Greatest City.” It held a 2-1 lead over Brighton, and I heard there was even talk of renaming the Howell Melon Festival the “Howell Taco Bell Festival.”
Well, you could tell that this has stuck in the collective craw of everyone in Brighton for the past 10 years. They were losing the war to their big brother to the west.
Well, I’m here to tell you that Brighton has finally fired back in the Great Livingston County Arms Race.
You might have missed the news, but sometime in the past few weeks, Brighton has gotten a SECOND Taco Bell. It’s located in Green Oak Township (or “Brighton,” as we call it), at the Double Roundabout intersection of Lee Road and U.S. 23.
It’s right in front of Kohl’s and Costco, filling the space where Wendy’s used to be.
So if you’re keeping score at home – and I am – the Taco Bell Score is now Brighton 2, Howell 2. All evened up, once again.
I’m sure the community leaders in Howell are fast at work looking for a good location for a third Taco Bell (the old Rite Aid is right around the corner from my house, if you’re looking for suggestions), but for now, we’re all tied up.
So I’m thinking we need a tie-breaker. The Taco Bell Count is obviously the most important metric when considering a community’s greatness, but what else can we look at?
McDonald’s? Howell leads, 3-2.
Panera Breads? Or Paneras Bread? Brighton is up, 2-1.
Subways? They each have about 30.
Teeny-tiny roundabouts that everybody hates? Howell leads, 50-0.
Statues of Ugly Naked Guys? Brighton’s in front, 1-0.
No, I’m sorry. None of those rise to the level of a Taco Bell.
So as we all celebrate the fact that Brighton just doubled its greatness factor by getting a second Taco Bell, we’ll have to be content to let Brighton and Howell share the title for now.
