Wall Street Whiners vs. The 99%

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When I got this in my email the other day I had but one thought: I gotta share this masterpiece. As macabre threats go, this has everything except bayoneting grandmas and skinning babies. In fairness, it does look like the writer ran out of paper.

Click on the image to read
what the email says:

It’s a pretty nasty letter, but I think you’d have to expect such things if teams lined up ninety-nine players to one and you realized you were on the short side. A little trash talking never hurts, does it? Although it’s usually a good idea to make sure the other team can’t make you eat those words.

This curious epistle seems to blur the already fine line between mad and crazy. I guess that’s why those words are often synonymous.

But really. Taking credit for a 14,000 Dow Jones Industrial Average (DJIA)? Did Wall Street really give us that? Tell me, which car did it build, which drug did it invent, how much electricity did it produce, which smart phone did it design? Americans invested money in companies that produced things of value because that’s how investing works. Wall Street provided a platform to streamline the buying and selling of our shares. Which part of the 14,000 DJIA did Wall Street create?

Oh, Wall Street banks provided the financing that made it all possible? The ones who eventually invented bogus investment vehicles and sold them globally with a straight face and a grade AAA+++ rating? The ones that crashed the global economy? The ones that blamed their customers when the bottom fell out? Wall Street banks definitely had an impact on the DJIA, but it might be more clearly focused on the March 9, 2009 close of 6,547.

And this wound licking assertion that Wall Street is our scapegoat? Listen up, Skippy. Thousands of years ago the Jews would bring their priest two goats on the Day of Atonement. The priest would chose one and anoint it with all the sins of their community, then send it out to the wilderness to die, and all the community’s sins with it. Get it? The scapegoat was blameless and died bearing the sins of others. Assuming you know how to connect dots I’m pretty sure you can figure out that of all things that you are, the blameless scapegoat isn’t one of them.

And it seems like the Day of Atonement may be coming.

You eat what you kill? Which of you ate Washington Mutual, Bear Stearns, Indy Mac and Lehman? In all, the Wall Street Journal claims 386 banks have been killed since 2008, so I gotta admit that is some appetite you all worked up. May as well toss in Enron, World Com and AIG while we’re at it. There must be a lot of fine trophies hanging on those mahogany walls.

I know, I know, we’ve got all the cushy high pay, low effort jobs locked up outside the gulag you call Wall Street. All the nurses with double shifts, the firefighters that saved as many of your pink butts on 9/11 as they could, the social worker who walked into a house to find children beaten, bloody, and starving, the teacher who bought paper, pencils, and books (even toilet paper!) out of her own money so her students could have the bare minimum to compete with your little silk stocking preppies: how cushy can you get, eh? And to think those people are lazy good for nothing union members. Is that what’s bothering you, Bunky? Of course those jobs are nothing excruciating like staring at a computer monitor all day or making your bazillionth cold phone call to tout some dog stock that someone in your research department thinks might not totally suck.

Hey, if you want to come and join us out here and chase a four foot John Deere mower around our yards in 98 degree weather and humidity so high that it’s tough to breath, and all for little more than minimum wage, bring it on. They’re ten to twelve hour days, but don’t even think about calling it overtime. I think I could sell a few tickets to watch that. I spent some time working in a foundry some years back and if that’s a cushy over-paid job that you’d be interested in, I can’t recommend it highly enough. I can just tell that you’re the kind of guys that love that filthy, sweaty, exhausting work from your letter.

You’re going to stop buying your little import cars? Boo-Hoo. Lexus, Mercedes, BMW, and Audi sold 775,000 cars in the US last year. Assuming Wall Streeters bought 10% of that total (which is very unlikely) and that each car cost around $75,000, that’s about $600 million of lost sales. Do you really think that will cripple the economy anything close to the unspent money of the 14,000,000 unemployed US citizens? Using the 2010 average annual income of an American worker, those 14 million would churn more than $580,000,000,000 through the economy this year. Would I rather see these people employed or you in a Bimmer? Hmmmm?

Wall Street’s been crying and whining for the past forty years that there’s too much regulation in your industry. After paying every legislator with an open palm (and that’s most of them) the rules that you wanted to see eased were dropped one by one; but each time  you guys got more freedom you totally screwed up the economy.

Remember the 1980’s Savings and Loan Crisis which cost the US taxpayer $124 billion to resolve? That was followed by the collapse of hedge fund Long Term Capital Management.

New “mark to market” accounting rules and energy deregulation acts let Enron pick California’s pocket to the tune of $40 billion, wipe out $60 billion of market valuation and screwed its employees out of $1 billion.

The 2008 mortgage bundling fiasco has sent ripples through the economy that suggest a total cost of to the tune of $14 trillion dollars

When we propped up your cock-eyed investment strategies and fixed the damage your foolishness caused to our society it just wasn’t enough for you. Now you threaten to steal our food and our money? You already did that. Do you think we’ll let you do it again?

I know that you can pay off more congressmen than me, but I’ll support any legislator that’s willing to re-regulate your industry. And it looks like more of the 99% are agreeing everyday. In an effort to have people consider abandoning your big banks for smaller community banks, more people switched to their local credit unions in October than in all of 2010. It’s going to take more than forwarded emails from the right wing smear machine to calm things down.

Of course, the legislators themselves need to pay attention to us because a lot of them that voted for the bail-out of the investment banking industry joined the ranks of the unemployed two years later.

I’m not an “Occupy” member, but I understand much of their concern. I belong to the 99%: those you accuse of fomenting class warfare. But as they say, you only call it class warfare when we fight back. As long as we’re complacent and let you pick our pockets, there’s no mention of class warfare. You hope we’re too lazy, stupid, or indifferent to stand up for ourselves.

You could watch this short video to see our perspective.

Many in your ranks seem to agree that reform is needed . Market Watch analyst Rex Nutting writes, “The 99% could take back the government from the 1%. We’d not only free our economy from the shackles of inefficient monopolies, but we could turn our government into an institution that actually solves our problems.” Market Watch’s Paul B. Farrel sees a darker outcome and observes, “The 2008 meltdown never ended, lessons never learned. But now the end game is accelerating.

St. Paul seems to be pretty perceptive when he wrote in his letter to Timothy that “The love of money is the root of all evil.”

Could there be better proof of the veracity of St. Paul’s writing than your pathetic threats?

“Then you better start swimming

or you’ll sink like a stone

’cause the times they are a changin’ “

About Wayne Johnson 69 Articles

I’ve worked in book manufacturing for over 30 years, closing my company Baker Johnson, Inc. in 2005. Currently I work freelance with a large group of publishers, advising them on the printing options available to them as the book industry endures major restructuring.
My wife Cathy is a retired psychologist and spent most of her career working with the youth at Maxey Boys Training School. She is a small mammal rehabilitator with Friends of Wildlife.
Our daughter Whitney is a PharmD working in the Denver area evaluating the pharmaceutical requirements of nursing homes. Our son Eliot lives in Waterloo and is an editor at Mathematical Reviews in Ann Arbor.